In His Pursuit

When you do the right things for others yet it is not appreciated. I believed so many lies of satan with just 24 hours after knowing how filled you are. Have you experienced that? One minute you are filled the second to it you are totally controlled by yourself and I call this being controlled by the evil knowing that we are spiritual beings. First, when everybody have deserted you, know that God is near. When you feel like the whole world has gone against you, that is not true. When the people that you have helped do not reciprocate it. Sharing with you an excerpt from The Bondage Breaker of Neil T. Anderson that I read after feeling so down. Sacrifice the Temporal to Gain the Eternal Possibly the greatest sign of spiritual maturity is the ability to postpone rewards. Hebrews 11:24-26 says: "By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be called the son of Pharaoh's daughter; choosing rather to endure ill-treatment with the people of God than to enjoy the pa...

So, I'll be back in sharing in this blog what I am learning from the Lord. I wanted to post my draft re the Philippine elections but I know that it would not please the Lord and might hurt people with how I constructed it so I am making a new one now that I am calmed down from the results. It is hard to handle extreme joy of Vico Sotto, our city's new mayor, winning and seeing the senatorial race filled with the senators that I am not sang-ayon to be in the legislative body and that is extreme sadness. I pity myself and this nation. What brought us here? I would rant on twitter my disappointment and my joy after a while. Baka nga mabaliw na ako neto e. Pero with this, I wanted to get to know God more. I wanted to come to the Lord. I wanted to just tell God how I feel. How disappointed I am. How I feel helpless. That I cannot do anything. That I wanted to do another job that would be more significant. God showed me how dumi my heart is again. How selfish I am. How proud I...

This was a sun down after running. Saw the clear skies and it made me relax. I don't know if I actually wrote about something on my love life here in this blog. But, I just want to share some points I've learned from my struggles recently. First, humility before God. Knowing that everything is the Lord's and everything comes from Him. Second, surrender your desires to an all-knowing and all-powerful God. Third, I need to seek God for His leading to be in the center of His good, acceptable and perfect will. Fourth, be accountable to God and fear Him. To not hurt Him. Fifth, develop yourself in being diligent. AND SO I THOUGHT I KNEW THINGS ALREADY. I drafted this blog last 11/11/18 and today is 2/28/2019. I have been down with flu and I thought that I am also down emotionally and that is worse than being down physically. A lot has happened since and I was listening to a pastor on… 'How do you kn...

Not going back to who I was before. January of this year, I tried to shoot around to prepare my resolution to get better at shooting. I praise God cause I believe that I did recently after getting to know a shooting coach. I've been fascinated by the science of sports these past few days maybe it was also brought about by my watching of games aside from the innate heart that I have for sports. I am amazed by their discipline, grit and the courage to finish well. Have you ever felt the pagod of doing something that you love? I've always thought that I would be able to do what I love in the long run. Maybe, just maybe. But you know what, I felt so tired serving the Lord last year September, but that isn't the reason why I was absent the last month here on this page, it was the other way around. I felt tired of putting up with someone I love. I felt so tired just being mabait . That is why at times I am very masungit . Why is that so? I was thinking, if the pe...

I ran a 5-kilometer last Monday which I even dragged myself into. It was the first time that I ran after two weeks even though I was going to the gym for weights. I can't feel my thighs and arms after that 40-minute run. This week has been tough for me. Not just that run.  My phone would beep that it was time for me to fly. And it reminds me again of the pain. I would hear some things about him and the pain would come back. How did I have the joy that no one can steal as before? Pain, disappointments, hurts from people, taken advantage of, and you just wanted to honor God but you had to go through these things.  Maybe it was all my consequences.  Definitely. You see, I have always seen God as a Gracious Heavenly Father but I associate holiness to Him only a little. I have always been that girl who doesn't want the reprimand of my mom more so from my God. But, I think of His holiness as not a big deal.  I would try to go around the r...

Today is the birthday of my lola and we miss her badly. It is so hard to lose a woman whom you cherish so much and it is a dreadful day to lose a mom and it is my prayer that my mom would still see my sister's and my children in the future to sing and dance in front of her. As I near the day of my departure to a mission trip, and as I near to finish the things I need to buy for the trip, my eyes would always well up thinking that I would leave my family and disciples that the Lord entrusted to me. Just last night, my mom asked me to take care because she does not want anything bad to happen to me and she cried. I replied that she must also take care of herself well. And said that I have Jesus in my life so whether I die, I would be with Jesus in heaven. She cried even more, haha. This was drafted August 12, 2016 and I wanted to continue it last August 12, 2018 but my heart and my mind was very discombobulated with my VISA application. Before I proceed with that visa waiting ...

When will this pain end? This week, I have identified with friends who are hurting. Who wants to end their lives just because of the pain that they are experiencing. It’s pretty tough, eh? Applying for Visa has been taxing for me. Surprisingly, the tough me folded while doing this. Maybe because I really did not want to go to another counrty, in the first place. I just want a simple life. I just want to follow what God wants for me. But, the thought of just moving away and living in another country to start afresh went into my head as I thought of the pains that I carry now. You see, I’ve just celebrated my 25th birthday but I thought like nothing has been happening to my life. I went to the point of blaming God for calling me in the ministry. Because I felt like He briught me to a place where there is no growth, fonancially and career-ladder wise. But as I thought about it, I was not looking at His goodness for the past 25 years. I grew up without a dad, but have my mom an...