Sunrise

This was a sun down after running. Saw the clear skies and it made me relax.

I don't know if I actually wrote about something on my love life here in this blog. But, I just want to share some points I've learned from my struggles recently.

First, humility before God. Knowing that everything is the Lord's and everything comes from Him.

Second, surrender your desires to an all-knowing and all-powerful God.

Third, I need to seek God for His leading to be in the center of His good, acceptable and perfect will.

Fourth, be accountable to God and fear Him. To not hurt Him.

Fifth, develop yourself in being diligent.

AND SO I THOUGHT I KNEW THINGS ALREADY.

I drafted this blog last 11/11/18 and today is 2/28/2019. I have been down with flu and I thought that I am also down emotionally and that is worse than being down physically.

A lot has happened since and I was listening to a pastor on…

'How do you know if it's the right time? How do you know if it's the right person?'

If you are ready to get married since love is a commitment. What is the purpose of romantic relationship? Marriage. And if your authorities agree to do so. 

The principle of waiting.

What makes a relationship sustained is responsibility.

We are longing for the answer agad, it attracts disappointment, frustration and impatience that makes us angry kasi when we compare ourselves to others, I am faithful to God naman ah, why am I not the perfect fit for that person?

There is fear in waiting. But, waiting is God's gift. What are the benefits of waiting?

God allows waiting. As Chuck Swindoll said, when you wait, your situation may not change but you will, because we needed to change.

Waiting develops contentment in us. I believe the Lord wants us to be secure in Him alone, the One who satisfies fully. Right now, we are excited to be with that person. But, do we know everything about him? Or have we just magnified the good things in him?

Contentment is the realization of how much you already have. If the Lord gives me the desire of my heart, it will just be a triple bonus for me.

1 Samuel 16:13

When we wait, don't go against God. Be humble and serve others. Kahit na God said so, David waited 16 years for God to bring down Saul. It is pretty hard to wait but he resolved that the Lord is his shepherd, he shall not want. He said, I will not put my hand against my God's anointed.

Heart Evaluation

We make stupid decisions when we are focused on the kilig. You have to think about it. Use your head.

Ruth stayed with Naomi and her people became her people and her God her God. Be where God's will is. Focus on serving others and not yourself.

Being open when we wait.

Feelings will follow after we obey God.

Obed, Jesse, David, .... Jesus. God can use your story now for His glory. So, start waiting and seek God and obey Him because that is the best that God wants.

To not be unequally yoke. You may not marry the right person if you don't wait.

Complete dependence on the Lord

Lamentations 3- walang nakinig when he shared the gospel. Jeremiah. Frustrations. Persecution. Why did he persevere and stayed with the Lord? Yet this I call to mind, I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed. His compassion. They are new every morning. Great is His faithfulness. The Lord is my portion. I dont need Him to answer my prayers. I will wait for Him.

I remember this was God's call for me two years ago when I humbled myself before the Lord. Mabilis lang yan. Hope in God. Answer is not the focus. The Giver is the gift.

Enjoy waiting. Kahit na hindi sagutin ni God yung prayer ko. Si Lord lang enough na for us.

I have last drafted this March 1 and I am so disappointed with the kaguluhan of my head at that time that my thoughts are all over. 

Yes, I was discombobulated. 

And I wouldn't edit it so I could remember the kahihiyan I've caused. HAHA.

This was also a sunset taken in Sta. Rosa Laguna after a dinner in our favorite Dean's home. Nabura ko na kasi pala yung mga sunrise photos ko, sunrise buckets na lang natira chaz.  

                                            

So, let's talk about love and life. These two words when joined together form another meaning than when it is said apart from each other. 

Let's talk about love. We're so immersed with the definition at church that love is an unconditional commitment towards imperfect people seeking their highest good which often requires sacrifice. But, I would like to propose another side of love since this is more relevant to me now, the love for what you do which will coincide with my life as well. So, we're done with the love life of this blog. Hihi

I talked to my mentor today on what to do after a five-year stint with campus missions and she asked me which quite surprised me, what is now your passion? I thought that passion is somewhat not from God, that somewhat it is evil because I should not conform to the patterns of this world but instead serve him alone not realizing that I have put Him in a box, that serving Him is just inside the church. Maybe, just maybe, I was placed by God to serve Him full-time to develop me to be used by Him outside of church set-up which I realized after three months of schooling again this year. And I am just thinking about it, should I have pursued my law degree, I am done with it but I know that campus missions was really my calling specifically at this time but it scares me thinking that God can bring me to another setting pero the same goal, to make Him known. 

Going back to the question of passion, she then added, what is one thing that will not make you tahimik if you won't be able to do it? If I am asked four-years ago, I would have answered, Law School but I know that I have no vision whatsoever of me being used by God in that field but this time, education is the open door. But there is something more in me na ikamamatay ko pag di ko nagawa, and that is helping my city and my country to be better. It burdens me. It pains me that a lot has been taking advantage of the kahinaan of the people while they enjoy the kaban ng bayan. It angers me but more than that, I pity the people who are in this vicious cycle of selling their votes or voting just for the sake of voting and not a thought-of one. 

I am one of them. 

Before.

So, who am I to complain? At least for the mayoral part. E kasi naman, walang ibang tumatakbo. Minsan nga, dapat pala di na lang ako bumoto kasi sila din naman ang mananalo. Kasi, bawal sila kalabanin or kahit kumalaban ka, wala ka namang kakayahan, wala kang pangalan, walang nakakakilala sayo, pamilya mo lang. I would even remember a neighbor who would run for President but now I realized why he did that and it was to protect his wife who is a teacher from the pagod of watching over the precincts.

I was apathetic. Once asked what burdens me about the country, I just mentioned the obvious problems of the society but not really with heart for the lost. It added that the person I was getting to know back then was not even interested in the government. Baka siya rin wala nang gana dahil parang wala na talagang pag-asa mabago pa for the better ang ating bayan. Even a professor mentioned na baka kailangan natin total annihilation para makapagsimula ulit. Corruption and unrighteousness all over. It makes me sick as I think about it now. But months ago, I would just accept it. Siguro para wala na lang ding away. Para din mapag-pray na lang. Just like how my mom told me not to interfere with the campaign knowing that they are in position and I am not. Ako ang dehado. Pero kung ako lang talaga, patay kung patay. I would rather die than see this country suffer in the hands of these trapo and benggador (now I know what these mean haha after asking my mom the other day) baka sakaling mabuhay ang ating bayan.

Why am I so passionate about effecting change in the government? You see, I am in the voluntary sector for five years as a formal worker. We, all want to see lives changed for the betterment of the community and the nation and we believe that it is only through Jesus Christ that we can be transformed. But I saw that people have felt needs and I want to help with that but we can only give so much. And I believe that it is the government's job to do just that, nothing more nothing less. I am truly burdened by the fact that it is enjoyed by the politicians and they are not living up to the name public servant. You know why.

But I am torn knowing that God can come back again anytime and I am busy making the lives of people better temporarily (kasi on earth) which we know that this world is getting worse and they need the Lord in their lives above all. But, if God's plan is to use this to extend His kingdom here on earth, I would gladly accept His offer to serve Him in the government. 

So, how did I come across this seated wish to serve the people? When I saw a leader who lived up to it. But I do not want to enter this because of him but because of Him. To continue to live my purpose of knowing Jesus and making Him known. As how my mentor said it today, God does not change His calling for you. How about you? Have you considered following His call for you?

From Michelle with love.

Why sunrise? I actually can't remember how it has become the title since I drafted this a long time ago but as I wrote, I thought about, we can and I hope that we see the sunrise and be awake by then. See you tomorrow!

In this photo, I've waited for the sun to rise pero as in sobrang dilim nyan huhu katakot.

Pero, when the light stareted to breakout, all the fear was gone.

It wasn't very sunny, it was a bit gloomy nonetheless, I have peace.

And it made me realize to thank God and trust Him. To see the good things and His Goodness in the pain.