Short

In a short span of time that I got to know Tita has really impacted my life. I shall try to share specific things here so that I get to record how she has encouraged me.

The only picture we got together. 

I shall start with why the title is short. We were going to minister to a place where our mission trip team went a month prior my mom and I’s visit. We were walking and she made ayos my shorts after it was creased. 

That was I think the first time I knew she cared. 

 I am usually jittery when meeting the mom of the man that I like. But with her, she made me feel comfortable. Pero at first, natakot din ako kasi I know na di ako umaarte like kung sino talaga ako, yun ang ipapakita ko. I don’t set my best foot forward because I know eventually, she would know me and she would know who I really am. I am very takot not to be accepted. Lalo na that is my fear— to not be liked by my future mother-in-law if the Lord wills.

But on our vacation time, we got the news that she got sick. This has truly devastated my jumpy feels how much more to her family. This was the time that I got to pray for her and message her as much as I could. The furst text I received from her number was from her son apparently but seriously, it was just a casual message if that was my number so she could save it. The strings of messages started there that ranges from kumain ka na ba to funny tsismis that I am confirming to her from her son (kasi nga ganun ako kadaldal) and even encouraging us on our birthdays that we are blessed to have years in our lives and now, it pains to imagine that I don’t anymore get to receive messages from her. 

Her everyday verses, which sometimes I don’t get to read and reply to them makes my heart regret now as I didn’t extend time and blessings to her. Because of my selfishness. This really broke my heart. 

Two weeks ago, I got a message to reoncile with her son and after a week got a call from her pero inuna ko pa talaga ang work over her? I am so proud. Like what the frick. 

I have seen how I am not maximizing my time to please God in my life. That I want my life to always be comforted and very selfish not going the extra mile kasi baka maubusan ako. I did not tap on the grace and forgiveness that there is in Christ.

I am shocked and became angry at God the moment I heard the news. I am sad afterwards and surrendered a litlle bit after. I asked God to assure me of salvation. That Tita is with Jesus already. And since I am in the book of Acts, I saw in there that circumcision and other external things are unnecessary. Jesus is the solution to our separation problem. That God made a way for us to live with Him for eternity. And so, the disciples gave their lives for that cause. And that encouraged me to process this pain with God, to grieve healthily and to humble myself that I am not God. 

I have read a story on the song, ‘It is well with my soul’, his children died in a drowned ship yet he was able to say ‘whatever my lot, thou hast taught me to say, it is well, it is well with my soul.’ 

I am glad to say that though satan should buffet and trials should come, but the assurance that we have is that Jesus shed His blood for our souls.