I really do not know how I would respond to people who are truly hard to love. It has never been this hard. Today, if there is a way to see how I am feeling, you would be seeing smoke coming out of my nose and my ears as I face people that I really don't like. Yes, I am proud and at the same time envious because I feel like I am better than them and yet God allows them to take advantage of me. Ugh this feeling. I really want to flip my table over and just exchange them to have Kobe back. I hate seeing them.
I feel like lagi akong lugi. I feel like, I am not getting what I deserve and hence I am drained further. I hate people who are feeling. Ugh huh. If I can just leave them and go my own way, I would really do it. I don't want being with them.
As I am typing this, I saw a kid wanting to say hi to me but I ignored. And I was rebuked. That shouldn't be the way someone loved by God should respond. I am not looking at God. I am being insecure. I am going back to the old me of wanting to grab for my own sake.
You see, in our work, we aren't paid the same. I feel like I am overworked yet the people who are lazy get more than what I get. I compare. But, what advantage will this be if I compare and get angry at people because I would count their faults? It will just slow me down.
As I was following the Kobe news, did he also experience unfair treatment? Did he have people whom he doesn't like and people whom he was hurt by?
Will I let this thing I am hurting from hinder what God called me to do?
Or will I let the love of my God, my King Jesus sink in to me and overflow in His love despite of what others are doing? Despite of them hurting me. Because at the end of the day, I am accountable to my God and not to them.
I've always loved basketball, that is why after hearing Kobe's death this week, I went on shooting to shake my stress off. I grew up loving him and I feel like, him dying is unfair. I feel like saying, to those who were hating him before, where are you now? And I felt like wanting to just die also now that I am experiencing unfairness and just want to see that hey guys, eto yung sinayang niyo. But of course, I will just have to let God reign in me and to let Him be God. To be thankful for His grace in my life. That I do not deserve anything else in this world. That I should just humble myself in the mighty hand of God and let go of my frustrations and respond in a way that is responsible. Because only my response is my responsibility. It is not my responsibility to control others. So, that would lessen my frustrations.
Maybe a rule of thumb is, to look at yourself first before judging others and then see how God vindicates you. BUT, even though He doesn't, He is your reward and your portion forever. Having Him is the win. After submitting to God's will, some things that I didn't expect happen. It may not be the same level of happiness that I would want to have after the pain that people have given me but I know that I have pleased God.
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I feel like lagi akong lugi. I feel like, I am not getting what I deserve and hence I am drained further. I hate people who are feeling. Ugh huh. If I can just leave them and go my own way, I would really do it. I don't want being with them.
As I am typing this, I saw a kid wanting to say hi to me but I ignored. And I was rebuked. That shouldn't be the way someone loved by God should respond. I am not looking at God. I am being insecure. I am going back to the old me of wanting to grab for my own sake.
You see, in our work, we aren't paid the same. I feel like I am overworked yet the people who are lazy get more than what I get. I compare. But, what advantage will this be if I compare and get angry at people because I would count their faults? It will just slow me down.
As I was following the Kobe news, did he also experience unfair treatment? Did he have people whom he doesn't like and people whom he was hurt by?
Will I let this thing I am hurting from hinder what God called me to do?
Or will I let the love of my God, my King Jesus sink in to me and overflow in His love despite of what others are doing? Despite of them hurting me. Because at the end of the day, I am accountable to my God and not to them.
I've always loved basketball, that is why after hearing Kobe's death this week, I went on shooting to shake my stress off. I grew up loving him and I feel like, him dying is unfair. I feel like saying, to those who were hating him before, where are you now? And I felt like wanting to just die also now that I am experiencing unfairness and just want to see that hey guys, eto yung sinayang niyo. But of course, I will just have to let God reign in me and to let Him be God. To be thankful for His grace in my life. That I do not deserve anything else in this world. That I should just humble myself in the mighty hand of God and let go of my frustrations and respond in a way that is responsible. Because only my response is my responsibility. It is not my responsibility to control others. So, that would lessen my frustrations.
Maybe a rule of thumb is, to look at yourself first before judging others and then see how God vindicates you. BUT, even though He doesn't, He is your reward and your portion forever. Having Him is the win. After submitting to God's will, some things that I didn't expect happen. It may not be the same level of happiness that I would want to have after the pain that people have given me but I know that I have pleased God.
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