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The Question I Could Not Answer

Whenever I am out of my workspace, all my thoughts are on whack and excited to write but now that I am ready to record them all, it's now a blankspace. So, I will try to juice out my ideas now while I have time. I will start with what I learned from a book I was reading during the holidays, The Crazy Love by Francis Chan.

New year seems to make people new. Like, almost all want to be a better version of themselves. After all, it's the best time to start anew. Whatever failures that you don't want to remember from the past year seems like a really long time ago. It feels like it is a clean slate.

My one takeaway that I will apply from the book is to live my life day by day, consistently and see if my goal was achieved. We usually make new year resolutions that are too big to do and so we have to make it simple habits to develop so we get there.

One of my goals for this year is to get back in being active, eat healthy, be a blessing to others and to grow deeper in my relationship with Jesus, amongst some.

So, last 2019, I was so proud to think that I've arrived. That I don't really need to do spiritual disciplines. Spending time in prayer and bible reading seems boring for me but as Tozer said, if worshiping God doesn't excite you then you are not ready for eternity.

How did I lose my abs? Simply by my small actions of not eating properly and not exercising over a period of time that piled up. It all starts in small beginnings. Either you reap rewards or consequences with your decisions. A little compromise with you staying in your room alone or a simple text wherein God wants you to stay away, will truly pile up and you will say, it doesn't harm me naman, it's just a little time, sandali lang naman and I can repent and God would understand. We reduce God to god and our temptations as God, our flesh as the ruler of our lives. It may sound legalistic but I want to share with you that what I am learning recently is truly knowing your niche. How has God designed you. Know your weaknesses and don't defend your actions to God feeling like you can fool God. My compromises started January 2019 and my whole year was messed up because I started it with, wala namang masama pero alam ko naman na it is not what pleases God so in other areas of my life, I was also compromising.

This was in Cebu last July 2019 where I was very careful not to fall.


One last thing I want to share for this week is a question I can't answer at the onset of this year, my breakup. It doesn't seem to make sense to me. I can't accept the fact that I prayed about it and knew that I heard God clearly to entertain but I didn't obey everything and this is the consequence. It is painful.

I was watching tv these past few days and was thinking of the stories on tv, how will you explain a parent whose child died and then given his or her organs to a baby in need. Or a breakup that makes the other person better that learned something from you but for you, you only see pain. Isn't that unfair?

I DO NOT KNOW THE ANSWER.

But God led me to Jeremiah and it was so nakakaloka.

Last night, I can't even sleep but I chose to sleep instead of reading the bible and God was gracious to give me an answer in the morning. GOD LOVES ME. And that is enough.

Hold on to God. He is trustworthy. Know His Word.


Everything comes from God and we can have a clean slate not because we've done good things but because of what Jesus did on the cross. His blood that was shed on the cross washed us clean. That is grace. And who are we to be selfish and point fingers on those who have hurt us. In the first place, it was Christ, the King and Lord whom we hurt first.


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