When All Is Said And Done

This is our antennae where I used to climb
thinking it was so high that I cannot reach it,
but now, I can't even fit my feet
on the second level of the tower.

 The entrance, where I felt like those gates 
where so huge.

The part with mountains is Bataan.  

The river where we frequently dived into,
but now, I don't think you still can.

 This side will show Mount Arayat

Visited my lola and lolo at the cemetery.

How things were so big then and now they seem so small. Can we just go back to that time when things were small but with my age advanced? When all I worry about are things like, will I pass, will I be on time for the flag ceremony, will I get to my crush's attention, will my mom allow me to go to a barkada outing to the most vivid memory of my kinder exam, will I be able to answer the right color for the no fill fruits. That Avocado though!

But, that cannot be. You need to borrow one. That math ah. I felt like I would never be able to graduate from kinder! Why was life so easy pala before? As I looked back, things in our home in Pampanga, Philippines (for those who are not from the PH, welcome to this blog! Pampanga is a countryside or an outskirt from Manila) taught me again last Christmas how things were before and is still the same now, ako lang ang lumaki.

This is where I spent most of my summers, Christmases and new years. I never thought when I was a kid that there is a big world out there waiting for me to face bigger problems than what I know about avocados. I never knew that I should enjoy the lessons of borrow one carry one and excel where I was placed at that moment. I wanted to just finish those lessons and move on to the next thinking it would be easier but I was disappointed. It was harder.

In college, I took finance because accounting was not available yet in our school. I was so excited, but the basics of accounting, I did not understand and so, I never loved doing accounting. Every exam, I just wanted to get the right balance without having a solution. And so, I barely passed. And never did I want to get anything with it any longer.

As I read my previous blogs, I realized one thing. The principles repeat. And that there are things that are certain and as I grew, not just physically, the mountains are still enormous, the water is still deep, the problems are still there and death is inevitable.

Today, my Lola whom I loved so much is not in the house any longer. The house is still there but rust and moth are slowly eating the wood that it has to be cemented over the years. This earth is not permanent. We will all die.

When all is said and done, what will matter? Is it your money, house, love life, body, career, name, grades, color of your avocado? I will die, you will die. Everybody will die. This is the start of the new year yet I am writing about death, because that is the reality. Everything in this world will fade away. So, why bother? Even the smartest and richest person described in the bible said, it is all meaningless, a chasing after the wind. But, he concluded that it is knowing God that you can treasure and that can last. How am I sure there is God? That there is eternity?

The intricacy of His creation shows that there is a master planner of everything. That there is no accident and that you are not an accident. And He came so that you and I would spend eternity with Him in Heaven, and that is the meaningful life and that is what I want to live for.

It is easy to be sidetracked. First day of the year, after dedicating my 2018 to Jesus at the 31st, I wanted to get the control again and just live how I want it to happen. But, is it worth it? There is God who can make things happen in His way and in His time. I am here to do what He wants because that is the best. Do I think it makes sense? No. But to love someone means you seek their highest good. Is God glorified? I pray. I may not know it in this world but He is my strength and to Him will I cling to. His love. His security.

I am tempted in every way but I trust God's hand in this harder life because it is adulting life. How I wish I could control everything, but I leave it to the One who is expert and sees the big picture. I know whom I have trusted, the One who also died for me laying aside His majesty for me to be back in His arms. I will stay there.

Lord, I pray for the people who will be reading this to experience you intimately in their lives and to commit themselves to your love so deep and to commit to love you as well. May You be pleased. In Jesus' Name, Amen.

In His Pursuit,
Michelle M. Aquino



For any prayer concern, contact me at michelleaquino13@gmail.com
Photos were taken through a Huji App. And I know that the rule is not to put the photos on one side because it is not balanced but, I wanted to make it like a negative. I hope it does not bother you.