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If 2018 Is My Last Year

2017 has been a so-so year. I don't even remember big things and good things that happened to me this year, for one, because I have been steady this year. This year didn't become anything extraordinary if I can say that. Yes, God has been faithful this year, the Lord has sustained me financially in the ministry knowing that He is the Great Provider but the things that I want, marriage in particular, is not at bay and is not even existent.

If this 2018 is my last year, I would want it to be about Jesus.Year after year, that has been my goal but I would stumble some time along the way. It feels like I never had a clean year. I would always be sidetracked because of distractions and sins. But, as I heard how missionaries abroad live by faith, I felt like wiping everything I wrote in my 2018 plans and just put, if 2018 is my last year, I would want to just love Jesus and be found in Him.

This world offers so many things, savings and investments so big that after all doesn't really define me. This life should not be about me but about God.

I asked God today, "If this will be my last year on earth, what do you want me to do?". I opened my bible to continue my bible reading for today and read on Mark 12 'cause it's December 12 (I make sure that my chapter numbers are same with the date so I would remember them easily) and the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind and strength and love others. In heaven, there own't be marriage. In eternity, what matters is your heart. Whatever you give, it is not the amount but bout what God has given you and you are accountable with what God has entrusted you.

My Gospel readings has been all about faith. yes, I admit that I am not a person full of faith, I was trained to have calculated risks as a business major, but in God's economy, it is completely different.

If 2018 is my last year, I would want to see a multiplying discipleship tree. But more than that, I want to be in God's arms snuggling in His presence, secured and no fear of harm because in His presence will I find true joy and contentment.

If 2018 is my last year, may my family come to know Jesus. And may UST and NU students get their purpose and love from the full love of Christ.

If 2018, I will die, so be it. I've died to myself today and that day if 2018 is my last year, is my life. 
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