In His Pursuit

I really do not know how I would respond to people who are truly hard to love. It has never been this hard. Today, if there is a way to see how I am feeling, you would be seeing smoke coming out of my nose and my ears as I face people that I really don't like. Yes, I am proud and at the same time envious because I feel like I am better than them and yet God allows them to take advantage of me. Ugh this feeling. I really want to flip my table over and just exchange them to have Kobe back. I hate seeing them. I feel like lagi akong lugi. I feel like, I am not getting what I deserve and hence I am drained further. I hate people who are feeling. Ugh huh. If I can just leave them and go my own way, I would really do it. I don't want being with them. As I am typing this, I saw a kid wanting to say hi to me but I ignored. And I was rebuked. That shouldn't be the way someone loved by God should respond. I am not looking at God. I am being insecure. I am going back to the old m