In His Pursuit

One step forward or a miss step, it would have been game over. This week, it was official. I am now a campus missionary though they now call it campus trainee. I'm not sure if I'm allowed to divulge the difference between the two since everything is not final yet until I sign the contract and it's the first time they're having trainees so again, first batch. It was a breather for me, now knowing my mission. (Reviewing the 3 important Ms of my life and I guess with some of you as well, Master, Mission and Mate.) But it struck me as well on how hard it will be especially I have to not just think of the work but how I will raise my monthly support. Well, in a real world you don't go into a company where you will work and you have to look for ways to earn your salary in another way, am I making sense here? No. Hahaha. My whole point is this, I am distracted by the things I'm not in control of and it made me nuts and unfocused on the work prepared for me. 

I really hate it. I'm still not over it. I won the singles match not for a lawn tennis game but for this garter. I never joined those games since I just got into the right age of that "oldness". Fine,'twas my fault to join when they called my name. Being sports. The irony. I love sports but I never enjoyed being sports. I am the asar-talo of any game. Translation? Just google it. I made a face to the host when I lost because I won. It's not because I didn't want the guy but just because I wanted to have my future husband my firsts of everything. Until, I realized that I hated this wedding garter because of that but I again thought of my other compromises that doesn't please God and in a way I didn't get angry with myself which I should have. My takehome of this is to do what I speak. In every utterances of my mouth must be my actions. When I say don't complain, I should not complain myself as well. It's easier to say things than to do it.

We were in a wedding hours ago and there was this kid that was playing with the fork and the knife. A year-old little girl that was seated a chair away from where I was. She was too adorable to be deprived of her simple pathetic joy of just putting the head of the utensils on her face. When we saw it, we were very panicky that it might catch her eyes and more problem might occur. She would throw tantrums whenever her parents take it away from her. My mom whispered that if she was the parent, she would just take those knives and forks out of her reach and allow her to cry for eternity than to be hurt by them. Free parenting session with my mom. As I heard my mom said that, I thought to myself how God says no to things that I really want and I get angry at Him and be on a beast mode against Him thinking that I know better than He does. Silly me. I’ve never known better than God. Fork Road. You have the choice. Either to make it or break it. Obey the will of God or not. You s